This is really insightful, Ken. Thanks for compiling this and putting it out there.
I'm pretty old school, so I generally discourage permanent body modifications for children. (These don't generally affect me so I can stay out of it.) I also hold a general skepticism of the pharmaceutical industry and plastic surgeons. These stances might well lead my child's teacher to think, "hmm, this isn't a safe household for a gender variant child, so I'd better encourage this guy's children to begin leading double lives." The school cuts me out (after all, if I were to attend a talent show or sporting event or a parent-teacher interview, the gig would be up). I cannot fathom how this helps my child flourish. Or learn. It is simply untenable. Most teachers have no idea whether one home is more or less supportive of gender variance than another, and the training teachers receive on this might amount to a 15 minute conversation (unless they attend conferences on the matter, which are happening in the US).
The question ought to be, "what's best for the children?" And although some pretend to be asking that, I don't buy it. I believe children's wellbeing is now subservient to the ideology. The evidence in favour of shutting parents out of the child's gender expression at school is scant at best. I presume the stress of it all would negate any benefit the teacher thought might arise.
Now, in abusive households, I agree there's a problem. Teachers already have a duty to report if they suspect abuse. That's the policy that should be invoked, rather than this roughshod version of government-knows-best.
Yes, there are already rules in place for teachers regarding suspected abuse. I'm pretty sure the default is NOT to assume that if Billy gets an F on his report card, that he will be beaten at home. Otherwise the teacher might decide it would be best to not let the parents find out.
What really blows my mind is how militant those on the other side of this issue are.
I’m not Canadian and I don’t have kids, but I am a person. I remember being a high school student, and I’ve also taught in high schools. If you’ve ever been near a school, you’re aware that romances between the students are more than common. Pupils will declare their undying love for each other and show their affection by holding hands, sharing food and so on. Teachers might half-heartedly tell these Romeo and Juliets to knock it off, citing some behavioral rules, but generally people roll their eyes and pretend not to notice the public displays of affection. If some teacher took it upon themselves to get in touch with the parents and snitch on such a harmless couple, that would be wrong, a little pathetic, and possibly an endangerment to the wellbeing of the kids. Kids are entitled to a little privacy. Now, if you polled the parents and asked them whether they should be informed if their precious little Jessica has a boyfriend (or girlfriend) at school, the vast majority would likely say ‘yes’. But I think schools and the government should stay out of such matters and let kids tell their parents about their personal lives in their own time.
Everything you outlined in those guidelines sounds very reasonable, and if you’re counting on this becoming a mobilzing issue, I’m not so sure.
It has nothing to do with boyfriends and girlfriends. The entire issue is this: is my kid officially going by a different name in school than he does at home, and is the school actively working to conceal that fact? It's hot nothing to do with "snitching".
But are they ‘actively concealing’? If a kid goes to a teacher and says “I’d like you to please call me ‘Loretta’ and refer to me as ‘she’”. The teacher says “you betcha”. That sounds pretty passive to me. Surely the teacher would assume the parents are aware and if they’re not, it’s hardly the teacher’s place to reach out to the parents and divulge. That’s for the kid to do in their own time, The ‘active’ thing for the teacher to do would be to reach out to the parents, i.e. to snitch. It seems what you’re advocating for is not just snitching, but government-compelled snitching.
What the policy instructs teachers to do is to check with the student to find out which name and pronoun they're to use when contacting the parent. How is that not actively concealing what's going on? Whether the situation arises where that is applicable or not, the fact remains that teachers are instructed to do this. Undoubtedly there are many cases where they have.
You’re right, but as with many things, that polling could do with a little more nuance. Most parents say they should be informed, but would they still say that if it were framed in a different way? “Should teachers be legally compelled to inform parents that a child is identifying differently EVEN if that child has indicated that they don’t want the parents informed?” Might get different results then
Children cannot "officially" go by any name other than their legal name until age 18 in Manitoba (16 in Ontario). Informal name changes are not the subject of any legislation I'm aware of.
You realize choosing name in this case is rather Orwellian... If your child wanted to change their name, you're saying you would deny that? Even if the child felt they were suffering as a result of their given name?
6079 Smith W. I'm sure you understand the reference. I can't think of anything more dystopian than forcing a name upon a child simply to underscore their subjugation under you as a parent, but to each their own I suppose.
This is really insightful, Ken. Thanks for compiling this and putting it out there.
I'm pretty old school, so I generally discourage permanent body modifications for children. (These don't generally affect me so I can stay out of it.) I also hold a general skepticism of the pharmaceutical industry and plastic surgeons. These stances might well lead my child's teacher to think, "hmm, this isn't a safe household for a gender variant child, so I'd better encourage this guy's children to begin leading double lives." The school cuts me out (after all, if I were to attend a talent show or sporting event or a parent-teacher interview, the gig would be up). I cannot fathom how this helps my child flourish. Or learn. It is simply untenable. Most teachers have no idea whether one home is more or less supportive of gender variance than another, and the training teachers receive on this might amount to a 15 minute conversation (unless they attend conferences on the matter, which are happening in the US).
The question ought to be, "what's best for the children?" And although some pretend to be asking that, I don't buy it. I believe children's wellbeing is now subservient to the ideology. The evidence in favour of shutting parents out of the child's gender expression at school is scant at best. I presume the stress of it all would negate any benefit the teacher thought might arise.
Now, in abusive households, I agree there's a problem. Teachers already have a duty to report if they suspect abuse. That's the policy that should be invoked, rather than this roughshod version of government-knows-best.
Yes, there are already rules in place for teachers regarding suspected abuse. I'm pretty sure the default is NOT to assume that if Billy gets an F on his report card, that he will be beaten at home. Otherwise the teacher might decide it would be best to not let the parents find out.
What really blows my mind is how militant those on the other side of this issue are.
I’m not Canadian and I don’t have kids, but I am a person. I remember being a high school student, and I’ve also taught in high schools. If you’ve ever been near a school, you’re aware that romances between the students are more than common. Pupils will declare their undying love for each other and show their affection by holding hands, sharing food and so on. Teachers might half-heartedly tell these Romeo and Juliets to knock it off, citing some behavioral rules, but generally people roll their eyes and pretend not to notice the public displays of affection. If some teacher took it upon themselves to get in touch with the parents and snitch on such a harmless couple, that would be wrong, a little pathetic, and possibly an endangerment to the wellbeing of the kids. Kids are entitled to a little privacy. Now, if you polled the parents and asked them whether they should be informed if their precious little Jessica has a boyfriend (or girlfriend) at school, the vast majority would likely say ‘yes’. But I think schools and the government should stay out of such matters and let kids tell their parents about their personal lives in their own time.
Everything you outlined in those guidelines sounds very reasonable, and if you’re counting on this becoming a mobilzing issue, I’m not so sure.
It has nothing to do with boyfriends and girlfriends. The entire issue is this: is my kid officially going by a different name in school than he does at home, and is the school actively working to conceal that fact? It's hot nothing to do with "snitching".
But are they ‘actively concealing’? If a kid goes to a teacher and says “I’d like you to please call me ‘Loretta’ and refer to me as ‘she’”. The teacher says “you betcha”. That sounds pretty passive to me. Surely the teacher would assume the parents are aware and if they’re not, it’s hardly the teacher’s place to reach out to the parents and divulge. That’s for the kid to do in their own time, The ‘active’ thing for the teacher to do would be to reach out to the parents, i.e. to snitch. It seems what you’re advocating for is not just snitching, but government-compelled snitching.
What the policy instructs teachers to do is to check with the student to find out which name and pronoun they're to use when contacting the parent. How is that not actively concealing what's going on? Whether the situation arises where that is applicable or not, the fact remains that teachers are instructed to do this. Undoubtedly there are many cases where they have.
Sounds like common-sense policy to me
Fair enough. And 20% of Canadian parents agree with you.
You’re right, but as with many things, that polling could do with a little more nuance. Most parents say they should be informed, but would they still say that if it were framed in a different way? “Should teachers be legally compelled to inform parents that a child is identifying differently EVEN if that child has indicated that they don’t want the parents informed?” Might get different results then
Children cannot "officially" go by any name other than their legal name until age 18 in Manitoba (16 in Ontario). Informal name changes are not the subject of any legislation I'm aware of.
You realize choosing name in this case is rather Orwellian... If your child wanted to change their name, you're saying you would deny that? Even if the child felt they were suffering as a result of their given name?
6079 Smith W. I'm sure you understand the reference. I can't think of anything more dystopian than forcing a name upon a child simply to underscore their subjugation under you as a parent, but to each their own I suppose.
Ken wants Freedom from Government Interference*
*except children, the government can run roughshod over the rights of children any day!
Now replace "children" with the unvaccinated: do you still support the argument?