The Continuing Saga of the Driver's License Debacle

And why we need to trim government bureaucracy.

Way back in January of 2021, a letter arrived by certified mail from Manitoba Public Insurance (MPI) informing me that because of some eye surgery I had been through, they figured I couldn't see anymore and that if I didn't get an eye exam done by a certain date, they were going to take my driver's license away.

So, a couple weeks later, being the dutiful citizen that I am, I was at my appointment with my optometrist and she put me through every machine in the place (they usually do that because I do have a history of eye issues) and I tested fairly well except for the peripheral vision in my right eye (I had suffered a retinal detachment in 2013 and that was one of the issues I was left with). My optometrist informed me that my field of vision was only 120°, which was not good enough to meet the qualifications to continue to hold my Class 1 commercial license (apparently you need 150° for that), but it was still good enough to keep my class 5 (which is the standard license in Manitoba and would allow me to operate regular vehicles). She said if I wanted to, I could come back in a couple weeks and try again and they'd just take the best result. I did that and it was about the same, so I figured, fine, whatever, I've got no plans to drive a big truck again anyway so I'll just save myself the $90 for a physical (which I need to do every three years now) and let it lapse. When I went to renew it, the person at the insurance agency said that's fine, so I thought that was it. This was March of 2021. FIFTEEN MONTHS later I get another letter by certified mail (whenever this happens it's ALWAYS from MPI) thanking me for filing a vision report in support of my Class 5 drivers license. "Unfortunately", it said, "your visual field fails to meet the standards required to hold a class 5 license". Well shit, didn't my optometrist just tell me it was fine - OVER A YEAR AGO?

So, I was kinda ripped off and I gave them a call. Of course I was put on hold. After about 25 minutes I was told I could request a callback, which I did. I hung around the house for another hour or two before I finally decided I just really needed to go to work. Well, they never called back.

The next day I went to work like normal and kinda forgot about it and then about 2:00 my wife calls me and says MPI has returned my call. I said, "Great - can they call my cell?"

Well, no.

No they can't, because that number's not listed on my account.

I was working in the next town over and I wasn't gonna rip home just for that so we ended up having this weird, wacked out conference call where the agent would ask Celina a question and then she would relay it to me, I would reply to Celina and then she would tell the agent what I said, over and over for about an hour.

To shorten up a long story, the bottom line was that I needed to get my family doctor to sign off on it (because evidently my OPTOMETRIST doesn't know enough about that kind of stuff).

They were kind enough to extend the deadline for me until the end of August. Ok, fine. I made the damn appointment and I got in on August 9th. They took my height and weight, my blood pressure, listened to my heart and lungs, took three vials of blood, and oh yeah - I did a cheesy eye test and the doctor says, "You're a pretty healthy guy. I definitely wouldn't recommend they take your license away. I'll fax the report right now." I said, "Great! Thanks Doc. See ya next time."

That only cost me $90 and an hour of my life.

Two days later I get another piece of certified mail. It's from MPI. It says this:

A previous notification was sent to you requesting that you comply with the following requirement by AUGUST 31, 2021.

FURNISH A MEDICAL REPORT.

The date has now passed and we have no record of your compliance. In view of this, we regret to advise you that your driver's license and right to obtain a license are hereby cancelled effective AUGUST 23, 2022.

It went on, but that's the gist.

I can only hope that this letter and my medical report had simply crossed in the mail, but given that they backed up my compliance date A FULL YEAR earlier than what we had discussed on the conference call, I don't know that I should really be gettin' my hopes up.

Flash forward seven months….

Many thanks to Mark for the idea to use this video. It's about as perfect as it gets, except for the fact that Flash actually got the joke.

And I'm still a bit sore that I didn't think of it first…

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I still have my license and it's still valid and active, so for whatever reason, it evidently wasn't cancelled at the end of last August after all.

I did however get yet another piece of mail from MPI informing me that they now require me to take an "evaluative road test" to prove to them that I am still able to operate a motor vehicle. My driving record is pretty much flawless over the last 10 or 15 years, but apparently that's not what's at issue here. I've been arguing with them for a few months now, to no avail so I'm just gonna have to do it. Not like I'm worried about not passing, it's just that I'm a stubborn old goat who's trying to make a point.

I'm now admitting defeat, so I talked with a guy from Manitoba Public Insurance this morning and he said I can either drive to Winnipeg (an hour and a half away) to take the test, or I can drive to Brandon (over two hours away). I asked why I couldn't just go to Winkler and take it, since that's like, ten minutes from here, and he said I could, but if I took the test in Winkler, I would only be allowed to drive in Winkler. I asked him how the hell I was supposed to get home to Morden if I was only allowed to drive in Winkler and he said, "Exactly." He didn't see the humour in that at all.

Initially this guy was telling me the soonest they could possibly do it was early May. I told him my license was already in arrears because I was supposed to pay it by April 1st, but I couldn't because they wouldn't accept any payment until this "issue" had been dealt with. Turns out I've got 25 days to pay or they're just going to cancel it, but of course they won't let me pay it. Obviously he had to hang up and call a friend about that one.

When he called me back, they had miraculously found a slot for me on the 25th of this month which is basically the last possible day that would work and he wasn't even sure if it would, but said they could issue me a 1 hour permit if needed. I guess I'll find out if my license actually does end up being cancelled on the way to Winnipeg.

It seems inconceivable that those guys can even sleep at night knowing that I've been on the road in this state for well over two years now. Anyway, this is yet another example of government bureaucracy in action. The absolute least efficient human invention known to man - and the most expensive. If any of these guys were working for me, they'd have been fired a long time ago.

Wait a minute… they are working for me, aren't they?

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